Here I go again....

I really need to snap this vicious cycle I seem to perpetuate. I start feeling a little depressed, so I do something stupid. Maybe I spend too much, maybe something else. Then I feel guilty for the stupid thing I did, and I feel even more depressed. I usually won't go much farther, because that's usually when I recognize the cycle and try to stop it, but sometimes I can really beat myself up about it.

I'm getting down again right now. To the point where it's almost affecting my work. Inbetween calls today I almost got myself to the point of tears, but I caught myself in time, as I still had a job to do.

Now that throws up a red flag, saying, "Hey, you need help, and soon." Unfortunately the therapy I would like to try is a fairly new thing, and I don't know if it's spread out farther than the Provo, UT, area.

I want to try that particular therapy because my little sister just went through it and feels really good about it. And she's had a lot more therapy than I have. And we're fairly similar, so I think it would work for me.

Unfortunately, my job kind of gets in the way of me going up there for sessions, even if I could afford to make the trip that many times.

So, yeah, until I get an answer back from the therapist I wrote to, who knows when I'll be able to find the solution here in Mesa.

Grrr. I hate when I can see a possibly great solution but it won't work.