Of my own free will, I will watch romantic comedies. By myself. And I will most likely cry at the happy ending.
Yes, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, but there is one main reason why I enjoy these movies.
I believe in falling in love. Not necessarily love at first sight, but I believe in falling in love. Maybe it's the couple that you never imagined would end up together, or the couple that was clearly made for each other. Okay, well, maybe that is clear to everyone else but the couple.
I want to fall in love so bad it hurts sometimes. I don't want to date, really. I want to be in a relationship. Can't I just skip the whole dating thing?
See, while I was in college, I would observe the girls in my classes. I guess you could say that my classes were the first couple of dates. When I worked up the nerve to actually ask somebody in one of my classes out, it was because I already wanted to date that person, not just go on a date. Most of the time they didn't know it, but when I asked a girl out for the first time, I was really declaring my intentions to date her. Does that make sense to anybody else besides me?
The ultimate conclusion being, now that I'm out of college, it's a lot more difficult for me. It's not that I don't want to go out, it's that I have been deprived of my natural observation period. I'm not good at getting to know someone. It takes time for someone to get used to me, to get to know me.
So, I don't know, I guess you can draw your own conclusions from this. I just wanted to get it out there, try to explain what dating is like for me.
I just want to meet someone I can fall in love with. Is that too much to ask?
The elderly gentleman I live with has decided to live in an assisted living facility. Which is probably a really good thing for him. He is really forgetful right now, and if he forgot his meds for a couple days, that could get bad. Adding in his recent delusions about me having a live-in roomate, and it becomes a really good thing for him.
Heh. You think I'm leading up to the bad news for me, right? Sorry, but I'm going to disappoint you on that score.
I still get to live in the house, basically rent-free. My aunt Helen is asking me to pay the utilities, which is actually a really reasonable request. I agreed almost as soon as it was out of her mouth. I'm still gearing towards moving at the beginning of August, and the family is fine with that. One of his grandkids is getting married near the end of July, and the new couple may buy the house. That decision is pending. Aunt Helen hinted that if I wanted to stay and the new couple didn't want the house, that I would certainly have the option to buy. Kind of tempting, but I'm tired of Arizona.
And in the new development front, I really enjoy data entry. Does that make me crazy? I found a site that allows you to catalog your book collection. You can enter the books in by the ISBN number. It's really easy. The only problems I've had is that I have some international books that don't pull up, so I can't really catalog them. But that's quite all right. What got me is that I went through all the books in the largest bookcase I own and entered them all in in less than a half hour. Almost two hundred books in a half hour is pretty good, right?
A feature of the site is that you can look and see who has a collection similar to yours, or see who has a particular book. It's actually kind of cool. Now I just have three smaller bookcases to go through, but I figure I can do that as I pack the books. Then I have everything listed, too! Hooray for me!
I came up with what I think is a cool character idea recently. I just got new, polarized, prescription sunglasses. The polarization makes everything clearer, but if you look through the tint on car windows, it kind of seems like you're looking through a rainbow at everything. And that sparked my imagination. Hooray! I've felt like Compass has been sapping my creativity recently, so I was excited to get a new idea.
Anyway, here's a couple paragraphs from Jacob's point of view.
I wish I could see the world the way that everybody else does. No, I'm not blind. I'm legally color-blind, but that's not exactly what's wrong with my vision either. Let's see if I can explain. You know those paint jobs on cars that, when you look at it from a different angle, shift to a different color? That's how I see everything and everyone. The angle doesn't affect the colors I see, however. The colors I see are impressions of the future. So, if I watch the colors shift long enough, I'll eventually see black, because everything dies or decomposes somehow. Other people are the hardest to watch. Their colors shift at a dizzying rate. I think it's because we humans change our minds so much. Every decision affects how our future turns out, so each new thought, each new decision, causes that persons colors to shift to a new pattern. Animals don't have as much variety, probably because their thought processes are simpler. Un-living things, cars and buildings, etc., shift very slowly. Plants are somewhere in-between animals and buildings. The shift is quicker than the buildings, steady, slow, but still there. It would be fascinating if I could turn this ability on and off. But it's a constant thing. I can't read, because the colors obscure the page. I can watch television, but the combination of colors from the actors, the sets, and the actual tv set itself, combined with distortions from the colors from the cameras, makes me nauseous. So that limits my entertainment to audio pleasures. I love music. I can close my eyes and shut out the colors and just drift away on the sound.
I've been trying to learn to navigate the world the way a blind person does, but it's a slow, ongoing process. If I can accomplish this, I may bind my eyes and deal with the world without seeing it.
I'm not sure why I've been given this "gift," and I don't see how to make it truly useful, as I don't see details, just colors, but I'm trying to learn to live my life around it.
Well, that's my idea. I rather like it. I don't know how to work it into a story or anything, but I really like the ability.
I tend to discover new things about myself in the books I read, the music to which I listen, and the movies and tv shows I watch. I'm going to discuss these discoveries here. I may occasionally deviate from this plan, but that's my choice, right?