Sunday, May 23, 2010

I Just Don't Feel Like It...

...Not anymore.

I've got a post planned for sometime in the near future. I was going to write it tonight, but I just don't feel like it.

What will it be about? An exploration of how I feel about music and what it means to me.

Why don't I feel like it tonight? A combination of things, really. The last twenty-four hours or so have been a roller coaster ride; lots of ups and downs. I accomplished a lot last night at work. Read a chapter of Don Quijote. Did some writing. Felt good about myself. Once the end of my shift drew near, things got worse. A whole bunch of things happened that I probably shouldn't let affect me, but they did.

This evening was going well. I received a new disc of Eli Stone episodes in the mail from Netflix. I already watched them, too. Great show. I really enjoy it and I am starting to really draw inspiration from it. I came in to work two hours early. I read two chapters of Don Quijote. I'm actually starting to enjoy reading this book. It's slow going, but I like it. That's a plus. I didn't think I'd enjoy reading it after the disastrous class I took on the book eight years ago.

But now? I'm just tired. And a little depressed. And I just don't feel like searching myself to find and describe how I feel about music.

Maybe tomorrow.


1 comment:

refugee from reason said...

While this may have been a previous quote I posted, your line, "I was going to write it tonight, but I just don't feel like it," struck a chord, one of perhaps too many chords by which I live.

Hemingway said of writing challenges and the like: "Write the truest thing you know [to get going]."

Writing about "how [you] feel about music and what it means to me" is an interesting subject.

My experience in discussing my music preferences has been interesting to me. Much of what I like apparently has little appeal to others, in fact, can at times draw a jeer or two.

I listen to certain tunes almost incessantly at times: "Pony Boy" by the Allmans; "Ain't Nothin' Like Whiskey" with Sonny, Brownie and Lightnin' and a number of others. Most don't remember those tunes, or have even heard of them and when they do, the music seems out of date to them.

On the other hand, who knows, what you like may well spark a similar feeling in a reader and that's kind of a nice feeling.

As to Don Quixote, well, that just has to be a challenge. I remember going on a classics kick a few years ago and re-reading it, or trying to. It now resides on my Kindle and I touch it for a few pages (like other classics I've picked up at Gutenberg) every week or so. I know how you feel.

"Once the end of my shift drew near, things got worse. A whole bunch of things happened that I probably shouldn't let affect me, but they did."

My believe is that everything one experiences affects one on some level or another. I suspect that many just jam much of it down, but I also surmise that whatever's "jammed down" affects them on some level or another.

I tend to hold on to things, particularly those that are negative in even the most minute way, for a long time, years sometimes. However, I figure, life's just life and there's not a helluvalot I can do about this sort of feeling unless, as the shrinks say, I really want to work on it. Then, of course, I wonder, what the hell that means.

Enjoy Eli Stone, we (my wife and I) loved the show and are always disappointed when the networks make the decision to remove programs we like.

Take care.