Conflicted...

So a lot of good things have happened lately. I enjoy good things happening, it's always nice. However, some of these good things have come with hidden barbs, just waiting until I'm a little complacent to jab into my fingers, sometimes literally, not just metaphorically.

I got a raise at work. Good thing right? It means I'm doing my job. I had my yearly review and I got a raise of about $3000.00 a year. That was cool. Doing my job well also meant that I was just drafted to do disputes. I'm not part of the dispute department, that would mean another raise, but I still do disputes. Oh, and we're not sure yet that they will adjust my required stats so that I can still make my bonuses. Dispute calls generally take about twice as long as regular calls. So being noticed may mean that I lose my bonus. You can bet that I will pitch a fit like nothing ever seen before if they tell me I won't get my bonus if I've met in every area except calls per hour due to taking dispute calls. And yes, it's possible and somewhat likely.

I started my guitar lessons. I like my teacher and think I'll be able to learn from him. My fingers hurt, but pain I can deal with. However, my fingers are apparently too thick to touch just one string in certain chords. I'm working on it, trying to make it work, but finding out my fingers won't work is frustrating. And yes, I know it will take time. At least, on the surface I know this. Underneath, I'm feeling depressed. Things usually come easy to me. I'm a talented guy. So when I get a challenge, even though I know I can work through it, I'm still depressed I'm not picking it up quicker. I've spent about a half hour so far, in two practices, trying to play two chords. I've hit them right maybe twice.

I went on a date. I was set up by my aunt's sister-in-law. The girl was really nice and easy to talk to, and I will most likely ask her out again. She is very mormon, though. So we'll see how that goes.

So, basically, this is how I feel:




I'm feeling happy, but I'm running out.