Least Intelligent Question...

I'm not fond of being the center of attention. I'm perfectly content to remain in the background with a simple, heartfelt thanks my only recognition for things I've accomplished.

You'd think that, being one of eight children, I would be just the opposite; an attention-craving diva. But I'm not. I'm doing better, but I still don't really like being noticed and pointed out.

To the point that, I don't even like it when someone says, "that color's nice on you," or "you sounded great in your solo in the choir," or even "nice haircut." I'm getting better, and I can actually be gracious about it now, but I still don't really like it. But the whole haircut comment can be particularly aggravating.

Here's the deal: I don't get haircuts very often. Usually about every eight months. So when I do get one, I get bombarded with comments. Like I said, I'm getting better about being gracious about comments I receive. But one question just irritates me to no end.

"Did you get a haircut?" Asked like it's not perfectly obvious. Let's see, yesterday I had curls going down my neck and wings that spread out behind my ears. Today the sides and back are cut short enough that they had to use a number two guard on the clippers to cut it to the length I like to have it cut to. Are your powers of observation so weak that you can't even recognize the big difference in my head's appearance?

So if you have to make some comment about my haircut, make it a comment. You know, like "Nice haircut. I like your haircut. Wow, that haircut does not look good on you." Don't ask me if I got a haircut, because you make not enjoy the cutting comment you will receive in response.

And if you happen to catch me on a bad day, or a day where I've been asked 165 times if I got a haircut, you may just be surprised at my choice of words when I respond.

Don't say I didn't warn you...

Greatest Song Lyrics Ever...

I like finding new music groups to listen to on iTunes. It gives me something to do when I'm bored, and then it gives me good music to listen to. I really do listen to a little of everything, but being a choir geek from way back, I'm rather partial to a Capella choirs. Basically, these are the groups that make all their music with their voices. They sing the instruments. Fun to listen to and sing with.

I found a great one the other day. They're called the Binghamton Crosbys. They sing a capella and they're called the "Crosbys?" How did I not hear of them before? And they did a cover of a Billy Joel song? I must have been blind and deaf for the last couple months.

The song they did is called "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant." I like the song anyway, but the Crosbys added some lyrics in the "instrumental" part that I absolutely adore.

They sing "I'm a Crosby, you should do me." The first time I actually listened to and heard this lyric, I couldn't stop laughing. And now every time I turn on my iTunes, I have to listen to that song at least twice.

That is all.

Juno...

Some of you may have noticed that this is a new post with the same name as one that appeared last night. The last one just didn't feel right. I want to start periodically reviewing movies that I have seen, but the review I typed up last night just felt soulless. Like I was writing it because I had to, not because I wanted to.

So I'm trying again. And if you didn't get to read the last try, too bad. It's deleted and not coming back. Ever.

I got so caught up in trying to review different parts of the film and what made it so great that I forgot that I really enjoyed the film. It felt good to watch Juno. It's a comedy that makes you feel good, slightly uncomfortable at times, and makes you gut laugh quite frequently. I cried at this movie.

Basic story? Juno, sixteen, becomes pregnant and decides to give the baby up for adoption to a well-off couple she finds in the Penny Shopper. That's the basic story. One sentence. In this movie, however, the joy is definitely in the journey.

I loved the way that the characters expressed themselves in this film. What they say is so blunt, but you have to actually be intelligent enough to understand that it is blunt. It's great, I'm telling you. A couple examples: Mark Loring(the adoptive father): "Why does everyone think yellow is gender neutral? I never knew a guy with a yellow room." Bren MacGuff(Juno's step-mom): "Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...". Mac MacGuff(Juno's dad): "Thanks for having me and my irresponsible child over your house." Vanessa Loring(Adoptive Mom) :"Your parents are probably wondering where you are." Juno: "Nah... I mean, I'm already pregnant, so what other kind of shenanigans could I get into?"

I actually want to watch this movie with my mom. I don't think Dad would go for it all that well. Here's a couple things to keep in mind about Juno. It's rated PG-13, and I feel it's the first movie to truly fit what I feel a PG-13 movie. It's about teenage pregnancy, so it shouldn't be seen by anyone who is not a teen. There needs to be at least a little emotional maturity, you know? There's a little swearing, but it's not too bad. The language didn't stick out, it wasn't really offensive, at least to me. The movie includes the scene where Juno gets pregnant. However, it's more hinted at, and doesn't titillate, like some movies that hint at sex. You see Juno's calves and feet, and the father's lower legs and his chest. That's it. And they don't dwell on it. That's just the start of the journey. I really think most everybody will enjoy this movie.

It's a very real fantasy.

How's that for a description? So watch it already!

Keep Moving Forward....

I just finished watching "Meet the Robinsons" two times in a row. The second viewing was with audio commentary from the director.

This movie really resonates with me.

If you haven't seen this movie, you need to.

Besides being a fun, touching movie, it presents a very important message: It's okay to fail. It's okay to make mistakes. You just keep moving forward, looking towards the future, not dwelling on the past.

Being such a perfectionist, remembering that it's okay to make mistakes, to fail, as long as I move forward from that mistake and do it better the next time is an essential concept. Otherwise I revert to the hyper-stressed individual I have been for much of my life.

Watch "Meet the Robinsons." Enjoy the fun gags and crazy antics. It's an all-ages movie, with something for everyone. But if you get nothing else from the experience, remember to keep moving forward.

Songs I Almost Always Repeat...

Have you ever listened to a song that you enjoyed so much, you had to immediately listen to it again, maybe two or three times, before moving on to the next song? And then, after a couple more songs, you go back to that song again for another couple repeat plays?

No? Well, I have. Lots of times, really.

Here's a list of songs that I generally repeat when they come on my iPod or when I'm playing a cd. For the vast majority of these songs, I have cried at least once while listening to the song.

1. Creep, by Radiohead. I don't really like the original version, I much prefer the acoustic. Song written by a guy for a girl. The line I focus on is "...you're so very special. I wish I was special, but I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here..." Besides my almost constant sensation of not fitting in wherever I go, in most of the relationships I have been in, I have felt like I didn't deserve to be with the girl I was dating. She was too good for me, you know?

2. A Change in Me, from Disney's Broadway production of Beauty and the Beast. "There's been a change in me, a kind of moving on. Though who I used to be, I still depend upon. I've come to realize that good can come from bad. That may not make me wise, but, oh, it makes me glad." The first time I really listened to these lyrics, and paid attention to them, I spent the next ten minutes sobbing those huge, heart-rending sobs that you only get when you finely let your heart purge a poisonous barb that you've carefully nurtured and protected for too long. It still causes tears to well up in my eyes when it comes on.

3. Fools Like Me by Lisa Loeb. "Maybe it's the sanest thing, or just the sweetest kind of dream, but love was surely made for fools like me." Such a fun, upbeat, happy song about the crazy things that love does to a person. And I'm nothing if not a fool for love. Also in this category? "I Wanna Fall in Love" by Lila McCann.

4. Arms of Love by Amy Grant. "Lord, I'm really glad You're here, I hope You feel the same when You see all my fear. And how I fail. I fall sometimes. It's hard to walk in shifting sands, I miss the Rock and find I've nowhere left to stand. I start to cry, 'Lord, please, help me raise my hand so you can pick me up.'" The only reason I can ever get through 2nd Nephi is that during the chapters when he is quoting Isaiah, he includes the scripture that says, and I paraphrase, "through all this, His hands are stretched out still." It doesn't matter what we do, the Lord is right behind us, stretching His hand out, just waiting for us to finally turn around and make just a little effort to reach out to Him. I love that thought and recognize the responsibility it places on my shoulders. I have to make some effort, but I know that when I do, He is there, waiting for me to accept His help.

There's at least two or three more, but it's really late and I need to get some sleep.

So I may just continue this later.

Maybe...

Conflicted...

So a lot of good things have happened lately. I enjoy good things happening, it's always nice. However, some of these good things have come with hidden barbs, just waiting until I'm a little complacent to jab into my fingers, sometimes literally, not just metaphorically.

I got a raise at work. Good thing right? It means I'm doing my job. I had my yearly review and I got a raise of about $3000.00 a year. That was cool. Doing my job well also meant that I was just drafted to do disputes. I'm not part of the dispute department, that would mean another raise, but I still do disputes. Oh, and we're not sure yet that they will adjust my required stats so that I can still make my bonuses. Dispute calls generally take about twice as long as regular calls. So being noticed may mean that I lose my bonus. You can bet that I will pitch a fit like nothing ever seen before if they tell me I won't get my bonus if I've met in every area except calls per hour due to taking dispute calls. And yes, it's possible and somewhat likely.

I started my guitar lessons. I like my teacher and think I'll be able to learn from him. My fingers hurt, but pain I can deal with. However, my fingers are apparently too thick to touch just one string in certain chords. I'm working on it, trying to make it work, but finding out my fingers won't work is frustrating. And yes, I know it will take time. At least, on the surface I know this. Underneath, I'm feeling depressed. Things usually come easy to me. I'm a talented guy. So when I get a challenge, even though I know I can work through it, I'm still depressed I'm not picking it up quicker. I've spent about a half hour so far, in two practices, trying to play two chords. I've hit them right maybe twice.

I went on a date. I was set up by my aunt's sister-in-law. The girl was really nice and easy to talk to, and I will most likely ask her out again. She is very mormon, though. So we'll see how that goes.

So, basically, this is how I feel:




I'm feeling happy, but I'm running out.