Saturday, November 20, 2010

It's interesting... least to me.

I've been dating Chelsea for a couple weeks. Our relationship is progressing at what would normally be an alarming rate. However, things feel so natural with her that I can't help wanting to push it even faster. I've managed to resist that urge thus far. How long can I hold out? I don't know.

I try very hard not to be a typical Utah native. See, it's a stereotypical part of Mormon culture for a couple to date a couple weeks, then get engaged. I've always looked at that with a fair amount of pessimism. Dating someone for a couple weeks doesn't give a person insight into the potential partner's personality.

Now, however, I find myself wanting to take the leap. No worries, I'm not going to make any major life decisions any time within the next week or two.

It all feels right at the moment. It feels fantastic, to tell you the truth. I'm a hopeless romantic, but luckily I have this practical side that keeps me from making too many mistakes. It sure is fun to imagine being that impulsive though. I only have a couple weeks left in the semester and I just want to say "stuff it" and just abandon my classes to the wolves just to focus on her. It's all I can do to keep going and work on my assignments. I want to spend all my time with her.

It's a new and exciting feeling.


refugee from reason said...

I think it's grand you've found someone with whom you feel you're remarkably compatible. I'm not at all certain of the "stereotypical part of Mormon culture" that suggests a couple weeks and "then get engaged," though I certainly won't debate religion here.

However, I will quote my Dad who used to say "Stay single and tell your children to do the same." I've a veteran of three marriages and this isn't to say that marriage is a negative. It is, however, to say, if I may, it's something to be taken seriously, especially in light of the downside of divorce, which can be a disaster financially, to say nothing of the emotional issues.

Now, in the interest of full disclosure, my first wife, after my kids were born...well, let me put it this way, which is how I generally describe the reasons for that divorce to others: She voluntarily gave me sole custody of my two boys, and this was in the early 70s when that was unheard of. I surmise that says it all. My second was a nut: It cost me less in alimony than she cost me with her "channels," psychics and faith healers...and she had an MA in mathematics. My current wife is an alcoholic.

So, my choices haven't been especially prudent, but when the current is gone, that'll be it for me.

I suppose this is all to say that this is your decision. My view is that religion should have absolutely nothing to with it.

I'm Jewish; I believe in God, one God. As such, I'm reminded of a great quote by Steve Allen (if you're too young to remember, I encourage to "Google" him).

Allen wrote thousands of songs, pieces of music, among other things. A woman once said to him, "God must really have blessed you to give you all of that talent." Allen's response was, "Madam, I believe God has much better things to do than concern himself with my talent."

Just a thought and I hope you're not offended, though my alltime favorite comedian, Mort Sahl, used to close his act with, "Is there anyone in the room I haven't offended tonight."

Take care, be careful and I hope your weekend is a good one.

refugee from reason said...

I just noticed the phrase "hopeless romantic." What seems like 100 years ago I would characterize myself as an "incurable romantic." That said, I send you this poem I wrote many years ago, when I was less cynical, or perhaps not cynical at all...perhaps it will help you on your journey:

julie said...

I think it's GREAT that you have found someone you're thinking about like this! And, I think it's natural to make the mental leap to the next step, especially when it's at that wonderful everything-is-fantastic stage. Just remember that if you let yourself get past that stage into the sometimes-things-are-tough stage, you actually find that your relationship is even better than it was before and it makes you realize that this really is someone you could spend the rest of your life with.

That's what happened with me and Steve. I was ready to marry him after a couple months of long-distance dating, but I'm glad we didn't. Now that we live together, I've gotten to know him better and he knows more about my quirks and issues. It's great to know that we really are compatible and could be together forever.

That said, I know a lot of people (as you do, too, I'm sure) who married after knowing each other for just a few months, so I say go with your heart and head. Good luck!

refugee from reason said...

Adam: I'd listen to Julie...she's a helluvalot smarter and more intuitive on these matter than I. Julie: Nice take on it all.

The Robinsons said...

So excited for you Adam! Seems like Chelsea is great. We are so happy to see YOU so happy :) Derrick and I felt the same things you are describing when we first started dating...and we've been married 6 years and still feel the same towards each other. Just has to be the right person for you! Good luck!