Friday, November 5, 2010

Don't Get Excited...

...especially you, Mom.

I went on a date this week. I had a wonderful time. And now I'm scared shitless.

See, here's the deal. I find the girl I went out with very attractive. She has tons of qualities that I look for. She's pretty amazing. Met her in my Creative Non-Fiction class. We had set the date for Wednesday night. On Tuesday, she said a bunch of her friends were going to a movie and did I want to go? Not to the ones her friends wanted, but we went to Despicable Me (great movie by the way). So I'm sitting there in the theater, in the dark, and I want to hold her hand.

Me.

The guy who moves at a near glacial pace when going out with someone. I like to think things through, be sure of what I'm feeling, what I want. So holding hands is a pretty significant first step. I didn't, but the fact I wanted to was very telling for me.

We had a fun first date: Dinner with good conversation. A reading by our professor at the local book store. Mini-blizzards at Dairy Queen afterward with more good conversation. I took her home and she invited me in. I met her roommates. They were nice. One went to high school with my niece. My date put her hand on my knee. I was surprised but comfortable with it. We conversed for a while. I almost pushed her off the chair, but restrained myself. Then I got ready to leave. I thought about going for a kiss.

Me!

Gah! What is going on? I think about her and my heart starts stuttering, making me nervous and jittery. I get around her and I want to be impulsive.

A week ago, I was thinking about requesting that my church remove my name from their records. Not because I was upset or anything, I just don't enjoy it and don't want to deal with it anymore. I think I'll give it another try. Not because she would want me to, because I think she'd rather I do things I want to do. However, I want to do it, because she deserves someone who's willing to meet her at least halfway. Who knows? Maybe me and the church won't work out, but I think she'll be okay with what I decide. We haven't discussed it yet, but I've been thinking about it. She's a returned missionary. So am I. I just returned a little more.

I think I'm crushing. Hard. And it's fun, exciting, nervewracking, distracting, exhilirating, terrifying and just plain great.



5 comments:

jgirl said...

;o) is all I have to say...

refugee from reason said...

The negative: You write too well to use the word "sh******."

The positives: "Met her in my Creative Non-Fiction class." What a great place to meet someone When I was in my 20s, in NYC and working for the WSJ, there were few women there and I wanted to meet some. Bars weren't my think so I took a baking course at the New School. I like your way better.

"So I'm sitting there in the theater, in the dark, and I want to hold her hand." Nice thought. Why didn't you, your next graf notwithstanding?

Thinking things through might be alright for some things, I don't think so for romance. And, as the sone of a psychiatrist, no one's ever sure of what they're feeling.

"Dinner with good conversation." What could be more perfect, eh?

"I want to be impulsive." Be so.

"Church" No my area, but it should never intrude on your feelings, no matter what.

"Feeling just plain great." A real plus for these times.

All the best to you in your new adventure.

Adam said...

Thanks. I usually try to avoid cliches, especially crass ones. Still not sure why or how that one slipped in. Oh well.

On a (kind of) related note, after the reading I purchased a nice little hardcover copy of Herzog. Got it for free, actually, as I had store credit for trading in a couple books I'll never read again. It's in line after two Harold Bloom books. Should get to it in a week or two.

It's been a good week.

julie said...

Yay for Adam!!! I'm happy that you're crushing. Good luck with everything! I hope you keep us updated.

refugee from reason said...

Well, Adam, I'm sure whether to thank you for picking up "Herzog" on my response, or I should pass it along to Saul Bellow's estate and get credit.

My Dad gave me the copy of "Herzog" that I have today. That back when it published in 1964. It's the same copy I have today and read regularly...in book form, as opposed to my Kindle.

It's neither a "quick" nor an "easy" read, but it is a great, in my opinion anyway and I do hope that you find it so.

As I believe I may have "said," I've read everything he's written and believe he may be the greatest American author ever.

I was a modest fan of Hemingway, but at the end of the day found that I liked a piece of his non-fiction best, A Moveable Feast

However, second on my list, incidentally, is Norman Mailer, who I always thought also deserved the Nobel Prize for Literature, though a large measure of his work was non-fiction. He, incidentally, was an acquaintance of mine, if not a friend. We lived next door to one another in Brooklyn Heights back in the 60s and early 70s.

That said, there are several living writers out there you might consider exploring, including Richard Russo.

Take care and I'm glad you enjoy the adventures of reading.