I don't have a particularly easy time making new friends. I'm an intensely loyal person, but also intensely private. I hold on to friends I've previously made and it takes me a long time to open up and trust acquaintances to the point that I consider them a friend.
Point of fact, about once a month I spend an hour or so trying to track down my best friend from the 2nd grade. His family moved to California.
I've noticed a recent trend. I realize everybody has their own life. I also realize that working a graveyard shift makes it difficult to figure out when I might be available. However, it's starting to bug me that with all my friends, I'm the one that has to initiate any sort of activity.
In fact, it's starting to make me a little bitter.
Out of my family, the only one that reciprocates initiation of contact is my little sister. We'll send texts back and forth. We'd spend time together, but she lives in Aurora, CO. We get together when we can.
With the few friends I have that are relatively close by, I have to suggest getting together. I have to follow up and make sure schedules sync up. I text and call back and forth with these friends, which is great, but when it comes to actually getting together, it's all on my shoulders.
I try not to be bitter and to accept things as they come, but that gets rather lonely, so I have to start being to one constantly calling and bugging people.
It makes me feel a little like the little kid from next door who constantly knocks and says, "Can he come out and play?"
Behold, The Iron Fist...Yeah, the white guy.
2 months ago