Sunday, February 8, 2009

Some Days...

"I feel, every now and then, that I want to bite someone."

That's from "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." Sung by Snoopy, it's all about wanting to give in to his animalistic nature and become a fierce jungle animal.

I don't necessarily want to be an animal, but every now and then, I just want to lash out at somebody or something.

It's probably due to internalizing everything. I don't enjoy making others suffer when I'm out of sorts, so I keep it to myself and slowly simmer in dangerous emotional juices. ( I think this is the first cooking analogy I've ever used. Go me.)

Anyway, the point, kind of, is that I'm tired of having a roommate and living in a tiny little box of a bedroom. I want my own place. I don't know if I can truly afford it, but I want to. I've found what seems like a decent deal. One bedroom apartment for $565 a month, which includes utilities and basic cable. It's close to where I work, which is a plus. And I think I can afford it and the other monthly bills I have. I think I would have to give up on having the internet at home, because I don't know that I could fit that in, but this place is also close to the town library.

Another thing to consider. Getting this apartment would mean giving up on the idea of finding a job that utilizes my talents better. But I'm okay with that, as I don't plan on being here after July of 2010. I hope to be in Grad school by then.

Am I rationalizing too much? Am I giving too much up? I don't know. But it feels like what I want, which is nice.

1 comment:

julie said...

I don't think you're rationalizing too much. No one knows what you want better than you, and feeling comfortable where you live affects every aspect of your life.

Although, I'm still unclear as to why getting a new place would mean giving up on finding a different job.

Anyway, good luck with your search for a new place to live!