A Little Clarification....

....and maybe a little something extra.

I think my last post was maybe a little unclear.

I'm having a good upswing right now as far as Church activity goes. I actually want to go to church most of the time. What I'm concerned about is avoiding the burnout that, for me, comes with doing too much at one time.

I want to keep the feelings of wanting to go. The problem comes when I start feeling like I have to be there, rather than being there because I want to be there.

Should I try to find another ward that I might enjoy? This would help avoid the feeling of being obligated to go so my housemate has a ride. I know he could get a ride with others, he has before.

Should I just ask him to find a ride with someone else each week? I could probably come up with an activity that would cause me to arrive at church just in time. He likes to get there early to visit with the other members, so that would probably work.

Does my problem make a little more sense now? I want to keep up the positive feelings of wanting to be there and avoid the negative part of feeling obligated to be there, because I can't deal with those yet.

I promise, I'm working on it.

Anyway, I figured it would be fun to mention a couple of male singing voices I admire. I enjoy singing, and I feel I have a pretty decent voice.

Here are a couple voices I'm jealous of:

1. Gene Kelly. His voice is so warm and filled with joy. He's amazing! Pretty good dancer, too.
2. Kerry Dahlen. He sings bass in one of my favorite groups: The Coats! Seriously great bass voice, awesome range, and he has a great sense of humor to boot!
3. Josh Isom. I sang with him for a year with the Institute choir in St. George. Truly, truly blessed with a great voice, just from pure talent. He makes singing seem so effortless, no matter what he is singing.
4. Joe DeRieux. My Bishop from Kanab, he has an amazing voice. He also helped me discover the pure joy of singing, but I will always feel inadequate when I think of how his voice sounds.
5. Meat Loaf. Yes, I'm serious. He can sing just about anything, and even if it's a fast song with tons of words, he can make each one understood. Plus he has a great storytelling quality to his singing voice.

Anyway, there you go. I'll probably think of another 3 later on this evening.

Oh well.

Something New I've Discovered.....

...about myself.

As much as I love the message of the Gospel, of my religion, I don't enjoy some of the most basic, simple obligations.

For example, I enjoy what I learn in the weekly meetings, but I don't enjoy the feeling of "have to go to the meetings." An example: when I get a calling, I don't want to be there, because now I have to be there. Another: I really do like the ward I've been going to since moving. I started going because I was NOT enjoying the Singles Ward I was in, despite their having a fantastic ward choir. Plus, I figured it would be a nice thing to start taking the elderly gentleman I live with. It makes sense, right? Well, now I dread going, because I feel obligated to go. Plus, I don't really like taking him in my car, because he smells. And yet, I don't know that I want to try and search out a new ward, because it's a pain, and I'm really not going to be here that long, right?

Aaarrrrgghhh!

Yes, I know the textbook answers. "When I don't feel like going is when I most need to go." "This too shall pass." "Just do it."

And yes, I would still like to go to this ward. It has a lot that I like, except the time of day it meets. Stupid 1 PM.

But as much as I would like to make the Church a part of my life again, I need to be able to take is slowly and duck out if I'm really not feeling it. I need to feel like I can be there and enjoy it, but if I need to, I can leave.

So what do I do?

Suggestions?

Saturday.....

After the week I just had, I was really looking forward to Saturday.

So far, it's met all of my expectations.


Today I went and saw the Jim Henson exhibit at the Arizona Youth Museum. It was an amazing exhibit. Pretty small, but amazing. I was a little disappointed that I wasn't allowed to take pictures, but oh well. I guess I really can't have everything. They had several Muppets on display. I got to see Rowlf the Dog, The Mahna Mahna and the Two Snowths, and Bert and Ernie up close and personal. Pretty amazing, really.

They also had a couple items from "the Dark Crystal" on display. Some of the Skeksis' dishes, and Kira's dress.

Honestly, walking through the exhibit, I was at the point of tears several times. Jim Henson was that amazing. I want to go see the exhibit one more time before it leaves in March. And now I'm left with a desire to pick up anything I can about Jim Henson. Luckily the third season of the Muppet Show comes out on DVD fairly soon. And all three seasons of Fraggle Rock are out. I should pick those up some time.

Oh yeah, and I've decided to try having a full beard. What do you think?