My Visit Home...

...was very rough on me.

My dad is suffering from dementia. We figure he has, or is developing, Alzheimer's. Hasn't been officially diagnosed, but all the indicators are there.

I went to Kanab to get my car inspected and registered, and to help my mom keep an eye on Dad. During the day, he's usually fairly normal, but once the sun goes down, he starts getting more and more agitated and upset.

You can't convince him to go to bed. Apparently, he's afraid that if he goes to sleep, he will die. At least, that's what he told my brother before. So I didn't get much sleep while I was there, as I would sit up with Dad until he went to bed, then I would lie on the floor in the room next to his, and try to sleep as much as possible. Then I would nap during the day for a couple hours.

Friday was really, really bad. He didn't get normal during the day; he was very agitated all day. He wouldn't go for a ride with one of his friends. In the evening, he said he was going to die because he wasn't breathing. I tried to explain that he WAS breathing, because he was still talking, but he just said we would see. He told my mom to give him a hug goodbye. Then he went to sleep. He woke up about an hour later.

He was up all night. He got me this morning, very agitated. I couldn't handle him, so I got my mom, who called my sister and brother-in-law. They took him to the hospital. The doctor on duty ran tests, then gave him a shot that would supposedly put him out all day, and most of the night as well. That was at 7 or 8 in the morning, but he was awake and agitated by the time I left at noon. I hated to leave Mom and Dad like that, but I wanted to go visit my brother and sister-in-law, and, to be honest, I just couldn't take it anymore.

I think he would do better if he would just sleep. His body is obviously exhausted, but his mind won't let him go to sleep. I don't know what to do.

My Life in Review: Wizard of Oz Pop Up Book

I recently was sent a 40% off coupon for Borders. I knew what I wanted, and the website indicated it was in stock, so off to Borders I went. And spent an hour trying to find something I wanted to buy, as what I had originally planned to buy was not there.

At the end of that hour, I remembered another book I wanted. And it was in stock!

It's a pop-up book. The Wizard of Oz. And it is a work of art. So I decided to include pictures in this review.

Here's the cover:

With each page turn, there is a large, two page spread pop-up diorama. There are also smaller pop-ups, with a lot more story included as well. In the smaller sections you meet Dorothy's fellow travelers, as well as see an action shot of the wicked witch melting. It's a great design.

Now, this picture may not look all that impressive, but the tornado actually twists as you open the book! It's amazing!


Here's the Emerald City. I like the architecture of the city. Also included are green spectacles to wear. If you're familiar with the book, you'll understand why.


The final picture is of the scene where the wizard flies away in the balloon. The balloon is suspended from string so that it dangles and sways when you turn to this page. Hanging underneath is the wizard in the basket. Sorry for the picture quality.


Anyway, this was a great purchase, and I love this particular depiction of my favorite book.

Song of the Week

I don't really intend this to be a regular feature, but I couldn't figure out what else to title this post.

I've been relating quite a bit to a Patrick Fiori song called "Je Ne Serai Jamais." It really fits, for the most part, how I feel about myself. Kind of cool.

Here are the lyrics in French:

Je ne serai jamais ni l'ombre d'un homme
Ni le pâle reflet d'un autre que moi
Je suis toutes mes failles mes blessures et mes fautes
Je suis ce que tu vois

Je ne serai jamais le héros de tes fables
Ni ce beau chevalier dont tu rêves parfois
Si je dresse mes bras en murs infranchissables
Tu vois je ne suis, je ne suis que moi

Je ne serai jamais ni prince d'illusion
Ni de ces beaux marquis si brillants et narquois
Je suis de mon histoire de mes passés, de mes passions
Je suis ce que je crois

Je ne serai jamais un regret pour mes pères
Un de ces baladins à la solde d'un roi
Et je veux des enfants toujours fiers d'être fier
Je suis ce que je dois

Mais je pourrais ma belle si tu le demandais
Décrocher les étoiles te couvrir de soie
Faire enfin de mes bras le plus beau des palais
Mais je ne serai jamais, jamais que moi

Je ne serai jamais, jamais que moi.

And my quick and dirty English translation follows:

I never will be the shadow of a man
nor the pale reflection of another person
I am all of my failures, my emotional wounds, my faults
I am that which you see

I never will be one of the heroes from a fairy tale
Nor that handsome knight you sometimes dream of
If I put up impenetrable walls around my heart
You'll see I'm not, not anyone but me

I never will be that fairy-tale prince
Nor that handsome marquis, so brilliant and mocking
I am made of my history, my past, and my passions
I am that which I believe

I never will be a regret for my parents
Nor a minstrel in the pay of a king
And I want children I can be proud of
I am what I should be

But I could, my dear, if you asked me
Bring you stars from the heavens and cover you in silk
And make by my own hands a palace most grand
But I never, never will be, anyone but me.


So, yeah, it's a very, very rough translation, but I really enjoy the song and relate to almost every line.

No, I'm not going to say which lines I don't relate to.

Coming soon, a review, with pictures, of a book I bought recently.