Sunday, December 11, 2011

Current State of Mind...

I came to a realization the other day. It's not really all that revolutionary or earth-shaking, but I feel like it's a pretty accurate barometric reading of my mental state lately.

I realized there were two songs on my iPod that were receiving more play-time than the others. I just kept repeating them over and over, alternating which song I was listening to depending on how I was feeling at the moment.

The two songs? Iridescent by Linkin Park and Al Fin Me Armé de Valor by Reyli Barba. I've started putting playlists together based on these songs, but I wanted to discuss why I was listening to these two so much.

Iridescent comes from Linkin Park's most recent album, A Thousand Suns. It's a surprising album, differing from the Rock/Rap that brought the group such popularity. I think it shows a group that's not afraid to mature and evolve in the music they perform. It will be interesting to see where the group goes from here.

The lyrics that have been speaking to me from Iridescent are as follows:

"Do you feel cold and lost in desperation?
You build up hope, but failure's all you've known.
Remember all the sadness and frustration
and let it go."

It's a rather concise and straightforward way to say, "Pick yourself up and brush yourself off." Part of the reason this speaks so strongly to me is the way Chester Bennington sings the lyrics. Guy's got a pretty amazing voice, truth be told, and he injects a lot of emotion into this song.

I've been listening to this on the days when I've been feeling more down and sad. I just keep hitting repeat until I feel better. And it has been working. It usually only takes a couple listenings before I'm ready to move on and be happy again.

Al Fin Me Armé de Valor is the basis for a new playlist I've entitled "Kiss My Ass." Really, the whole song is pretty key to making me feel better. If I wasn't usually wearing headphones when listening to this song, I would sing along as loudly as I possibly could. 

Basically, Reyli sings that he's tired of all the crap his girlfriend has put him through. He's dumping her. He's finally armed himself with valor, with bravery, and he's dumping her, because really, he's put everything into the relationship and she's just abused him. 

On the days when I'm fed up with the tensions at work and the changes and stupidity that the teachers have to put up with I listen to this song several times and I feel better. Happier. Vindicated. 

It also works on the days when the students are little bastards that I want to squish under my feet. 

I like these songs. I love listening to them. And I am so glad that I can vent through songs and I don't have to find another way to feel better.

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