Testify!

I don't know if this happens with other religions, but in the Mormon church we have what is known as "Testimony Meeting." This happens the first Sunday of every month. The premise is to set aside the first meeting, where all members of the ward meet together, so that those who feel so inclined can share their feelings about the Gospel.

I have mixed feelings about Testimony meeting.

There can be many wonderful thoughts and stirring experiences shared. I really like those particular testimonies.

There are a couple "kinds" of testimonies that I dread. The travelogue, where the speaker gives a long, winding story with too many details to explain why he feels the way he does. And there is the overly emotional testimony, where the speaker starts crying so hard that you can't understand her. That just gets uncomfortable.

Today, for example, one member of my ward stood up and said, "It's been a long road to get to where I am with the Church today..." At that point, I stopped paying attention and thought about other things. She may have had some important things to say, but as soon as I found out it was going to be a travelogue, I just couldn't listen anymore.

Does that make me a bad person?

Moving Forward...

I'll be honest. I've had moments of serious doubt about actually going to South Korea.

It has felt at times as though most of what could go wrong was going wrong. I felt completely powerless; not a feeling I enjoy having. Everything we have planned from 2012 on depends on us going to Korea.

I've quit my job. Turned down a position with Wells Fargo. Put off applying to grad school for another couple years. I've got students loans coming into payment. Bills. We received some very generous monetary gifts for the wedding, and that has helped us survive, but we've pinned everything on actually getting to Korea and earning two salaries there.

Our papers finally arrived at the school. After a week-long clearance delay. Really? On documents? A week to say the envelope is ok? Wow.

However, now that we're on to the next part of the process, I feel hopeful about actually getting there soon. It's a nice feeling.

And I'm feeling like my life is moving forward again.

Things That Make Me Happy...

I deal with occasional depression. It's not bad enough to need medication, for which I am grateful. It does bring me down and cause issues until I deal with it and move on. I get so involved with dealing with my depression that I forget to notice the things that make me happy.

I've been working on being more aware of the good things that happen around me, even if they are small, so I thought I would share some.

In between quitting my job and getting ready for my wedding (more on that later), I stayed with my brother and sister-in-law. One day, as I was getting ready to leave to run some errands, I told my brother, Thearon, "Well, I'm off to see the wizard." He thought for a second, the looked at me and said, "You should ask for some courage." I was a little puzzled. I got the reference, of course, I'm a huge Wizard of Oz fan, but I didn't see how that particular reference applied to me. So I said, "Why do you say that?" Thearon said, "Well, you already have brains and a heart."

I grinned about it for the next two days.

I quit my graveyard shift desk clerk job. I no longer have to deal with astonishingly stupid people every day. This definitely makes me happy.

She'll get after me for not putting this first, but I married Chelsea nine days ago, on Friday the 13th. We kept things simple and as stress-free as possible. We enjoyed the short ceremony and our brief reception. It was a good day and she makes me happy.

For our honeymoon, we road-tripped to Spokane to see the Broadway musical Wicked. It was a fun trip. Montana is surprisingly (to me) beautiful. There were several things that we thought were funny or unusual. Exit Zero in Montana is the tiny, almost dead town of Monida. Idaho Falls, ID, has no organization whatsoever. We drove around, trying to find somewhere to eat and were a bit confused. Near Anaconda, MT, we saw a obelisk-looking tower I dubbed "The Tower of Sauron." Turns out it's a smelter, which I found out after searching the area on Google Maps. Every Rest Area exit sign in Montana also lets the traveler know how many miles there are until the next Rest Area. I didn't hear Chelsea tell me she needed to use a Rest Area until I was already passing the exit. I felt bad, but we laughed about it. At least we did once she was able to use a restroom. In Idaho, we crossed Clark Fork I don't know how many times. And the department of transportation had apparently decided to repair most of the bridges at the same time. Chelsea and I both loved Missoula, MT. It is a neat city. Wish the university there offered a program I want.

Spokane was fun. We stayed within walking distance of the theater. We also enjoyed walking around the downtown area. We visited a fun shop called Auntie's Bookstore. We bought lots of books on our honeymoon. Walking the bridge over the Spokane River, we saw an abandoned nest with eighteen eggs. We saw lots of pretty birds and many birds of prey.

I was happy to get back to Cedar City, though, as I was very tired of driving. I drove the entire way. My car gets better mileage, but Chelsea can't drive a manual. I enjoy driving though, so it wasn't too bad, just tiring.

I'm happy to be married and I'm looking forward to going to South Korea. Which should happen in the next couple weeks.

We hope.

I Always Feel Like...

...a one-hit wonder from the eighties.

For the year and half that I lived in Mesa, Arizona, I worked at a call center for Compass Bank. The center was located in a business complex in Tempe. The grounds for the complex were quite attractive. I was a little surprised by the amount of wildlife I saw on the grounds, in the middle of the Phoenix-Mesa-Tempe metropolis.

Most evenings, as the sun was going down and I was leaving work, I would see wild rabbits running and jumping and playing on the lawns near the large bushes.

One Saturday morning, I was going in for my shift and saw a covey of quail running across the six-lane avenue. The mother and father in the lead, six chicks running along behind, their little tear-drop feathers bobbing from their foreheads. After that I often saw the covey scratching around in the bushes, heads pecking at choice insects.

At one point the sprinkler system sprung a leak, creating a small pond in the middle of one of the sections of lawn. While the pond existed, there were always a couple ducks hanging around, enjoying the privacy the small pond afforded them. I loved the way the metallic blue and green feathers glistened in the sun.

And there was this bird.

I don't know what kind of bird it was. I haven't been able to find a picture of a similar one anywhere. It was always by itself. Its breast and belly and part of the head were an off-white, maybe eggshell, maybe a really light beige. The wings were a dark brown. While the base of the head was the beige, there was a dark brown mask around the eyes and a skull cap of the same brown. It had long, thin legs. It was always near the same spot, looking around, rather nervous. It hung out on the ground, and ran around. It could fly, but seemed to prefer not to.

One day, I decided to get a closer look. I drove up close to where it was laying on the asphalt. It didn't get nervous, really, just turned around, settled back down and fanned its tail out. The action seemed a little saucy and just a touch arrogant.

The only time I ever saw another of its same species was when it had its chick with it. Guess that's why it was always in the same spot.

I quit working for the bank and moved back to Utah, living in the Provo area. The next year I got a job delivering for Domino's Pizza in the Spanish Fork/Mapleton area. One day, driving back to Spanish Fork from Mapleton, I saw a spindly-legged, masked bird by the side of the road. Just one. I stopped and backed up, as I was the only car on the road. Sure enough, it looked almost exactly the same as the one I had seen in Tempe.

I later saw a similar bird in Provo in the apartment complex I lived in. Just the one.

Last night I was coming back from taking out the garbage when a bird flew out from the bush I was walking past. It landed in the parking lot a few feet away and quickly settled down on the asphalt. I stared at it for a moment. There was white. And a mask over the eyes. It was dark and I wasn't sure of the colors. I took one step in the bird's direction, just to see if my suspicion was correct. The bird flew off as soon as I moved.

I don't know that it's the same bird every time. Seems a little unlikely. But, really, why do I always see just the one? It creeps me out just a little every time I see one of these birds.

I'm starting to feel like somebody, or something, is always watching me.

Good Entertainment...

...should inspire. At least, that's what I think.

And I'm not talking about the "gee, I should really turn my life around and be a better person" type of inspiration, though that's not a bad result for entertainment to have. No, I'm talking about the type of inspiration that leads to new ideas. Creativity.

I just finished watching the second season of Dollhouse on DVD. Literally just finished. Two minutes ago. It inspired me for story ideas for a book series idea that's been slowly developing in my head. And on paper. I'm not stupid enough to think that I can keep track of all the ideas I have for it in my head. I write it down.

There are two television creators who have been truly inspiring. For me anyway. One would probably be rather surprised to mentioned in the same sentence as the other, and the other is dead. Joss Whedon and Jim Henson. Joss created Dollhouse, Firefly, Angel, Dr. Horrible's Sing-along-blog and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Jim is most know for the Muppets, and rightly so. However, he also came up with Sesame Street, the Dark Crystal and Labyrinth. The one thing Jim has over Joss is that, at least to me, he is the "better person" inspiration as well as creative inspiration.

What works do I find inspirational? Let's see. The Muppet Show. Dollhouse. The Dresden Files series of books by Jim Butcher. Starman by James Robinson. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and The Patchwork Girl of Oz by L. Frank Baum. Runaways by Brian K. Vaughan. Top Ten by Alan Moore. The Nightwatch series of books by Sergei Lukyanenko. Bestiario by Julio Cortázar. Pan's Labyrinth by Guillermo del Toro. Singin' in the Rain (not sure of the director or writer). M*A*S*H (the TV series). Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett.

There are many others, I'm sure, but that's a pretty good sample.

I like it when I'm reading a book or watching a DVD and I have to stop so I can write down a brainflash I just experienced. I'm sure it'd be rather annoying for those around me who aren't having the brainflash, but that's ok. I'm sure they'll understand. Or tolerate it.

It's not surprise that those works I find inspiring are also generally emotional experiences for me. I like having an emotional connection to my entertainment. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy "mind candy" as much as the next person, but I enjoy the cerebral element of entertainment so much more.

I just finished watching Dollhouse on DVD, but the inspiration it gave me is going to take me places I can't even imagine right now.

And that is good entertainment.

Alan Moore...

Honestly, I'm not sure where I stand on the great comic book geek opinion scale when it comes to Alan Moore.

He's generally regarded as one of the greatest comic book writers ever, and is almost certainly the most influential. Personally, of the other writers on that list, I greatly prefer Neil Gaiman, but that's not the point.

See, Mr. Moore's status is generally derived from one particular work: Watchmen. It was a twelve issue series published monthly during 1986. Right around that time, Mr. Moore also wrote V for Vendetta and From Hell. All considered masterpieces, and they've all been turned into movies. I've never read V for Vendetta or From Hell, so I can't really comment on those, but I don't really like Watchmen. I can see why other people do, but it's just not my thing. It has compelling characters, unexpected plot twists and simple vibrates with story power.

I can't put my finger on precisely what it is that makes me not like Watchmen. The art is really well done. The story is just so dense. Maybe some day I'll try reading it one chapter a week. Space it out. See if that helps.

Honestly, my favorite work by Mr. Moore is Top Ten. It's a twelve issue series about the police force for a city where everyone is a superhero or villain. Everyone. It's a great idea, but where the book shines is the character work. These characters are all so fully realized. None of them is a one-dimensional parody.

There is one character, not even my favorite, but when she dies, I choke up. Every time I read the book. Sometimes I can't even see the page.

Mr. Moore also writes the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, wherein some famous literary characters, such as Mina Murray, Allen Quartermain, Captain Nemo, the Invisible Man and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are a team of agents working for the British Government. It's a brilliant idea and well executed. They made a movie, but it was rather awful, in my opinion.

Mr. Moore also has some works that I want to read. Promethea for one. I have no idea what it's about, but every review I've read raves about it, but can't really describe it. That intrigues me.

I kind of want to read Lost Girls, but I don't think I ever will. The basic premise is that Alice, Wendy and Dorothy get together and recount their sexual exploits. In an interview, Mr. Moore said something to the effect that he wanted to write literature that was porn. I don't know if I'll ever know if he succeeded.

When you see pictures of Mr. Moore, he comes off rather frightening. Huge beard, long bushy hair, circles under his eyes, rings and talismans on each finger. And he's a practicing witch. But he's rather soft spoken and gracious. I listened to a recording of a radio interview he did when Lost Girls came out. He sounds like a happy, friendly Brit. And I'm sure he is.

It'd be interesting to sit down with Mr. Moore and chat with him, but I have no idea what I'd say or ask. At the very least, I wouldn't ask him about Watchmen, which would be somewhat refreshing for him, I'm sure.

I'm fascinated by Alan Moore, but he's not my favorite writer.

Just Started...

...The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck.

The first chapter completely blew my mind. I never thought that the description of an Oklahoma dust storm would so thoroughly captivate me.

I can't wait to read the rest of the book.

On the subject of reading, I don't think I'll be able to get through my entire collection before I move and get married. There's just too much to read. So, what I plan to do is read the books I own that I haven't read. I think there's about twenty. In English anyway. Very do-able. Then I'll re-read more books. At some point I'll get through my foreign language books, too.

And, of course, I keep buying new books. It's like a disease, or an addiction. And I don't want to be cured. Or rehabilitated.