It's interesting...

...at least to me.

I've been dating Chelsea for a couple weeks. Our relationship is progressing at what would normally be an alarming rate. However, things feel so natural with her that I can't help wanting to push it even faster. I've managed to resist that urge thus far. How long can I hold out? I don't know.

I try very hard not to be a typical Utah native. See, it's a stereotypical part of Mormon culture for a couple to date a couple weeks, then get engaged. I've always looked at that with a fair amount of pessimism. Dating someone for a couple weeks doesn't give a person insight into the potential partner's personality.

Now, however, I find myself wanting to take the leap. No worries, I'm not going to make any major life decisions any time within the next week or two.

It all feels right at the moment. It feels fantastic, to tell you the truth. I'm a hopeless romantic, but luckily I have this practical side that keeps me from making too many mistakes. It sure is fun to imagine being that impulsive though. I only have a couple weeks left in the semester and I just want to say "stuff it" and just abandon my classes to the wolves just to focus on her. It's all I can do to keep going and work on my assignments. I want to spend all my time with her.

It's a new and exciting feeling.

Top Five...

...country songs. At the moment. My tastes can be slightly fickle and subject to change. I could probably write a new list next week and have a couple different songs. Anyway, here you go:

1. Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks. This was the song they wrote in response to the nasty reaction after lead singer Natalie Maines told a crowd that the chicks were ashamed President Bush came from Texas. The group received death threats and were told to "shut up and sing." So much for free speech, I guess. Anyway, this song basically says that they are ready to forgive but they can't forget. They're going to keep being who they are. It's a nice anthem. Really inspiring.
2. Already Home by Ha-Ash featuring Brandi Carlile. Great song about regret. This trio of voices sings about how, after breaking up and going out on their own, they each realize that when they were with their ex they were already home, that they didn't really need to move on. They had everything they wanted. It's a very poignant song.
3. Highwayman by The Highwaymen. Talk about a country super-group. Willie Nelson. Johnny Cash. Waylong Jennings. Kris Kristofferson. Each member sings a verse about a different character that has died but still lingers in spirit form. Considering each story is about 30 seconds long, I'm surprised at how much I connect to each character. It's a great song.
4. Need You Now by Lady Antebellum. I love duets. In any genre. So a country group that writes most of their songs as duets? Yeah, I'm there. This song is all about the loneliness felt when separated from the person who has a claim on your heart. "It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now." Great sense of longing. I love singing along with this one.
5. Stuck Like Glue by Sugarland. So amazingly catchy. I can't get the thing out of my head. It's a rather unique song, as the country is infused with reggae. Not your usual combination, but it really works here. Plus, the music video is hilarious. Jennifer Nettles, the female lead singer, is incredibly tall, about 6'6" in heels. She also has the best crazy/angry eyes I've ever seen. When she gives the guy in the video a nasty look, I quake in my socks. Fun, bouncy, and a little crazy. What's not to like?

And there you go. A pretty good selection if I say so myself. I'll probably do another list fairly soon featuring another genre. Maybe even a specific artist. I'm thinking songs from musicals, Bon Jovi songs, Billy Joel songs, that sort of thing. Should be fun.

I hope.

Don't Get Excited...

...especially you, Mom.

I went on a date this week. I had a wonderful time. And now I'm scared shitless.

See, here's the deal. I find the girl I went out with very attractive. She has tons of qualities that I look for. She's pretty amazing. Met her in my Creative Non-Fiction class. We had set the date for Wednesday night. On Tuesday, she said a bunch of her friends were going to a movie and did I want to go? Not to the ones her friends wanted, but we went to Despicable Me (great movie by the way). So I'm sitting there in the theater, in the dark, and I want to hold her hand.

Me.

The guy who moves at a near glacial pace when going out with someone. I like to think things through, be sure of what I'm feeling, what I want. So holding hands is a pretty significant first step. I didn't, but the fact I wanted to was very telling for me.

We had a fun first date: Dinner with good conversation. A reading by our professor at the local book store. Mini-blizzards at Dairy Queen afterward with more good conversation. I took her home and she invited me in. I met her roommates. They were nice. One went to high school with my niece. My date put her hand on my knee. I was surprised but comfortable with it. We conversed for a while. I almost pushed her off the chair, but restrained myself. Then I got ready to leave. I thought about going for a kiss.

Me!

Gah! What is going on? I think about her and my heart starts stuttering, making me nervous and jittery. I get around her and I want to be impulsive.

A week ago, I was thinking about requesting that my church remove my name from their records. Not because I was upset or anything, I just don't enjoy it and don't want to deal with it anymore. I think I'll give it another try. Not because she would want me to, because I think she'd rather I do things I want to do. However, I want to do it, because she deserves someone who's willing to meet her at least halfway. Who knows? Maybe me and the church won't work out, but I think she'll be okay with what I decide. We haven't discussed it yet, but I've been thinking about it. She's a returned missionary. So am I. I just returned a little more.

I think I'm crushing. Hard. And it's fun, exciting, nervewracking, distracting, exhilirating, terrifying and just plain great.

Elections...

I voted today. It's the first time in a long time I've cared enough to do the research and actually vote. I put it off a little too long, so I don't know that I was as informed as I should have been, but I made an effort. Next time I'll do better.

More on this later.

Baseball...

...hunh. I don't think I have ever posted about baseball. I probably won't ever again.

The Texas Rangers will face the San Francisco Giants in the World Series. I'll be honest. I don't care about baseball. Not even a little. However, the Rangers beat the New York Yankees to get to the World Series. Why is that significant?

The Texas Rangers used to be the Washington Senators.

Why is that significant?

Go watch "Damn Yankees." It's a great musical. I haven't seen it in a long time. A part of the plot is the idea that the Washington Senators can never quite manage to beat those damn Yankees.

Now they finally have. They just had to move to Texas to do so. And it took 50 years.

Good for them. Now I have to find a copy of Damn Yankees to buy.

Kolob Canyon...

Saturday I went with my poetry classmates to middle fork of Taylor Creek in Kolob Canyon, another branch of Zion National Park.

We went specifically to be inspired by the rather astounding beauty of the canyon. In that sense, the hike was a complete success. I felt very inspired. I feel that, were I a painter, I would suck at landscape painting. Every time I attempted to describe what I was seeing, my mind shut down. I could only focus on the smaller details.

Then I got distracted by a squirrel. His burrow was about 20 feet away from where I was sitting. He sat still for a couple photos, then worked his way around to the streambed, ending up about 5 feet away from me.

Here is his picture, from when he was closer to his burrow:

And he inspired a poem.

My Squirrel Friend

I hear movement in some scrub oak
up the bank from where I sit.
I watch the spot with my eyes,
trying not to move my head.
It seems I have discovered
a squirrel's burrow.

My squirrel friend has
super powers,
for he can resist the siren call
of the cellophane wrapper,

completely unlike his
sin verguenza cousins who live
in the Grand Canyon
and will raid your pack
though you're standing two feet away.

Greedy Bastards.


And that's it. I quite like the poem, and I really enjoyed the experience.

Interesting Week...

...one could say a very successful week, but only in certain ways.

I'm working on a fiction piece right now that's going very well. I hope to have it done by Tuesday. Or at least "done enough" to turn in to my fiction professor. Like many writers I know, my pieces rarely get finished. There's always something else I could find to fix and make better. Eventually, I just get to the point where I say, "Enough's enough. Time to let it fly free and exist on its own and work on something else."

I'm proud of the story idea and where it's going. The characters feel alive to me. I hope they come across that way on the page.

I also had a very good experience in my Poetry class. I submitted a poem for a class workshop and it was very well received. I also got many excellent suggestions on how to tighten up the couple stanzas that just didn't sing as well as the others. Talentless hacks! Get out of my choir! Heh.

Also, for about the last 12 years or so, I have been attempting to find a friend I had in the first and second grades. His family moved and we wrote to each other for a while, but that eventually fell by the wayside. Of course, we were only, what, 9 at the time? Go figure.

Anyway, every couple months or so, I would spend two hours trying to find him on the internet. It was a little difficult without any knowledge of where he had lived for certain. But I tried. And tried.

In my fiction class this week, my professor was talking about the core group of readers he used to get feedback on his stories. He mentioned each by name. With the last, he mentioned the guy was from Kanab, where I grew up. The name was the same as my friend's older brother. And I can't recall any other families with their surname in Kanab. It was an electrifying moment.

I asked my professor for his friend's contact info, and explained why I wanted it. I sent an email to his friend and got my friend's email address.

Then I took a couple days to think of how best to approach the email I was going to send. I didn't want to come off as some obsessed stalker.

I wrote a brief email, explaining how I had come by the address and gave a brief summary of the highlights of my life since he moved.

Yesterday I received a response. It was a lot of fun to read, and I hope it will be the beginning of a reconnection.

Now I kind of want to try and track down who I now realize was my first crush.