Fascinations...

"Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be slain." G.K. Chesterton, as quoted in the prescript to Coraline by Neil Gaiman.

I love that quote. When I first read it, it resonated with me in an almost audible fashion. That is part of the reason why I love reading fantasy novels so much; you know that the hero will find a way to win. It's part of what makes reading books so safe and wonderful.

I'm doing well today. I've got three days off in a row. I got my federal and Arizona state returns already. I'm getting my car fixed tomorrow. Going to a book exchange today. Good things are happening.

I feel like my life might actually be moving in some sort of direction, rather than hanging around in a hold pattern.

I have some decisions to make and things to prepare for, but I feel like I can do it now.

And that's a good feeling to have. You know?

Some Days...

"I feel, every now and then, that I want to bite someone."

That's from "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown." Sung by Snoopy, it's all about wanting to give in to his animalistic nature and become a fierce jungle animal.

I don't necessarily want to be an animal, but every now and then, I just want to lash out at somebody or something.

It's probably due to internalizing everything. I don't enjoy making others suffer when I'm out of sorts, so I keep it to myself and slowly simmer in dangerous emotional juices. ( I think this is the first cooking analogy I've ever used. Go me.)

Anyway, the point, kind of, is that I'm tired of having a roommate and living in a tiny little box of a bedroom. I want my own place. I don't know if I can truly afford it, but I want to. I've found what seems like a decent deal. One bedroom apartment for $565 a month, which includes utilities and basic cable. It's close to where I work, which is a plus. And I think I can afford it and the other monthly bills I have. I think I would have to give up on having the internet at home, because I don't know that I could fit that in, but this place is also close to the town library.

Another thing to consider. Getting this apartment would mean giving up on the idea of finding a job that utilizes my talents better. But I'm okay with that, as I don't plan on being here after July of 2010. I hope to be in Grad school by then.

Am I rationalizing too much? Am I giving too much up? I don't know. But it feels like what I want, which is nice.

25 Things

This was a chain letter type deal from facebook. I figured if I was going to fill it out there, I may as well post to my blog. I'm not going to tag anyone here, because, well, I don't usually do that sort of thing.

Here you go, 25 sort of random facts about myself:

1. Above all else, I try to live by the Golden Rule, treating others with the respect and consideration I would like to be given.
2. I try to be honest and consistent in what I say and do.
3. The original 15 books of the Wizard of Oz series by L. Frank Baum are probably my favorite books ever.
4. I almost always prefer the books to the movie.
5. The only exception is "A Series of Unfortunate Events."
6. I've almost worn out my DVD player. It's starting to make bad sounds.
7. I'm starting to write a piece of creative non-fiction in the style of Dr. Seuss. Yes, that includes illustrations.
8. I want to create my own webcomic.
9. I'm trying to learn to play guitar.
10. I miss playing the piano on a regular basis.
11. I collect toys.
12. I'm a huge fan of "The Muppet Show."
13. I consider myself more spiritual than religious.
14. As much as I enjoy Disney movies, I don't like how they generate some of their ideas.
15. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
16. I get addicted to new TV series' very easily, especially once they have a couple seasons on DVD.
17. I think I'm better at editing photos I've taken than actually taking the photos.
18. I don't like being in large groups of people, unless I can sit on the sidelines and just observe.
19. I really dislike being the center of attention.
20. I've learned to occasionally enjoy watching sports.
21. I'm starting to become better at standing up for what I want, and not giving in so easily to what others desire.
22. I think I'm finally starting to grow up a little.
23. I often prefer the fictional worlds I visit to the real world.
24. I cry at movies, books, music, plays, and other forms of entertainment. If it's emotional, I'll start to cry.
25. I'm actually starting to enjoy working at Domino's. Most days.

Two Days...

...off, and I don't know what to do with myself.

Don't get me wrong, there's plenty to do, I just don't know where to start.

Oh! I actually feel creative again, which is nice, and means that the depression is finally starting to recede.

Conversely, I think, I feel a little more guarded and don't feel like sharing so much of myself right now.

So I won't.

Karma...

Man, I must have done something pretty awful in a past life, because I can not catch a break, here.

So I finally get a job. Delivering for Domino's. Not thrilled about it, but at least I'll get tips, right? And I get to drive around, listening to music. Should be at least somewhat tolerable.

Now my car is acting up. The one thing I own that I desperately need to do my job. Not to mention get there, as the store is in Spanish Fork, the next town to the south of here.

Even worse, my car is doing the same thing my previous car did before dying a horrible, gasping death.

Yeah, color me stressed.

Caution!

Okay, so I had a rather fun experience on Saturday. I went to the Springville Library to use the internet for a moment and to check out new cds to load onto iTunes.

I decided I wanted to add a new post to the blog, so I typed in my address. It got blocked! My blog has been censored by the Springville Library!

I think I like it!

And, no, it's not just blogger that's blocked, as I was able to open other blogs that I read.

The worst part? I can't remember what I was going to blog about.

Bwahahahaha! I've been censored!

Random Thoughts....again...

First of all: Merry Christmas! It's been a fun day so far. I came over to my sister's house last night, then slept here. This morning was fun with the kids. I even got to play Santa last night, as I brought my entire Lego collection and gave it to my 4 year old nephew, who is just getting into Legos. He was so excited.

Maybe I should have waited. He got several Lego sets this morning, but almost seemed blasé about them, perhaps due to the massive quantity I gave him last night. He still asked me to help assemble one set, though, so maybe I was reading his reaction wrong.

It was a fun morning, and I feel thoroughly spoiled. I think my favorite gift, based on how much it made me smile, was the Muppet Penguins I received. Awesome!

Next random thought: We are each a beautiful snowflake that will melt in hell. I read this on a random online comic, and just about died giggling.

Last random thought (for now): I've recently realized that I really want someone to sleep with. No, not have sex with. Actually sleep with and cuddle with. I just want to be close to someone.

Real last random thought ( apparently lied two minutes ago): If I am unable to find a good job, and end up having to work fast food (seems likely at the moment), and I still haven't found a better job by March, I think I will enroll in the Utah College of Massage Therapy and work part time. I could change my mind, but that's what I've been thinking.

Okay. Done now.